Now that I feel as though I am in a slightly better state of recovery, I have for the first time in my life, begun dating and it is a dismal reality that the dating pool, particularly in Johannesburg, is more a children’s splash pool than an Olympic diving arena.
Over a period of four months I have been on roughly eight dates with five potentials and within those eight dates there has been a zero percent conversion rate into anything more than an awkward good-bye, or in some cases a horrified sprint in the opposite direction. Evenings filled with forced and shallow conversation, borderline midgets, perverts, and brain donors have proven for great comedic material and not much else. There was a brief experience with the horrific Tinder application where I quickly learnt that it is a freak magnet, and promptly deleted it with fervor.
Perhaps I am at an age where “all the good men are taken or gay” but the prospects of anyone remotely decent are not promising. I think part of the problem is that the last relationship raised my standards to a possibly unachievable level for any bastard but it also changed my view on relationships dramatically. I now find myself not believing in anything long-term, those fleeting weaknesses don’t last and I find myself disconnecting from my true self. I am looking for someone who can challenge me intellectually, provide fulfilling physical interactions, and to go on adventures with a few times a month, until we both find no further joy from each other and part ways amicably as friends.
These requirements, although simple I think, are proving difficult to find in a city like Johannesburg. I find the men to be rather dense, immature and stuck in the “get hammered every weekend” mentality. The people I have found most intriguing lately have returned from long stints in Europe or are well into their 40s, but for various reasons (like recent divorces or still in relationships) have fallen off my radar of potential. This has forced me to come to the conclusion that I need to move to Europe at some point to have any hope of an affair.
The Formidable Bachelor once told me that there were many men like him in Johannesburg, I am convinced that was a complete (and comforting) lie on his behalf, or maybe I am just hunting in the wrong forests. Perhaps, it is also that the kind of man I like spends the majority of his time (much like me), working.
Assistance dear reader; where have all the good men gone?